effortjoy,
Your post caught my attention because of your location. I happen to live just north of you in MD. Then I noticed your join date. You have been struggling with this issue for a long time.
Based on a quick read of some of your other posts, I have some similar traits to you. I'm a professional who lives in the DMV area. I have a wife and two teenage children at home. I never lost my job or ended up on the streets.
But I'm not just like you either. I'm a male, running a marathon would probably kill me and my wife is also an AA member. Similar but different I suppose.
A few random thoughts in no particular order for your consideration:
In attending AA meetings I sometimes wondered: Am I really an "alcoholic?" Some of these people are really a mess. But then I met other folks at AA meetings who were a lot like me. One of them suggested that I not get hung up on a specific term. For me this question works better. Do you like what alcohol is doing to your life?
If you are open to it, finding the right AA meeting would probably benefit you a lot. You can find the right meeting/people in AA if you look. I see everyone from former criminals and skid row bums to Potomac soccer moms who regularly attend AA meetings. I have observed that AA meetings which are just a few miles apart can have very different mixes of people.
There are plenty of AA meetings in the DC area to choose from. I think with a little research you could find a meeting or two that would fit you. This link will get you started. My guess is that you already know about it:
http://www.aa-dc.org/meetings. I think what might fit you best is a women only meeting. Obviously I have never attended a women only meeting so I am basing this suggestion on my wife's experience.
You can find plenty wrong with AA. It's not perfect. As my sponsor pointed out, AA was designed originally for low bottom drunks. I find some of the hard core 12 step old timers to be toxic quite frankly. I avoid them. You get out of AA whatever you put in to it.
Good luck.