Thank you Dee. I start off with such passion and conviction, beg people to sponsor/help me, attend a couple meetings a week, read SR and other recovery materials, try to pray. For the most part I start to feel better and gain a slight sense of hope, but eventually, inevitably, I drink again.
So at this point I feel selfish asking for help or support when I know I'm probably just wasting such kind people's time. Like you. And Anna, and everyone here.