Wow ladies - your thoughts help me even more than mine help you because they keep me thinking of other areas that may need attention.
Journeygal, I do believe that we really do change. For a long time I did what I was told, like JT, and just had to trust that those who went before me knew the way better than I did. I had to take actions that were not natural for me, and learn to think differently. I had to consciously address my thoughts and move quickly out of obsession and into recovery. At that point I hadn't changed, I had just modified my thoughts and behaviour. But eventually this behaviour became natural for me, and became my new instinctive behaviour. My knee-jerk reactions were different and reflected my changed behaviour and these were at times where the reaction was immediate and not thought through. I believe that Pernell here refers to this as a paradyn (sp?) shift, where what is natural for me is the "new" recovery stuff. Read his post on that, it is amazing.
And do I think we are ever cured? Maybe some but not me. I know that when I get complacent about working my recovery, i fall back into my old ways and my life becomes unmanageable again. It is like God tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me that I have work to do. I need to maintain my spiritual connection, I call it recharging my battieries. If I am connected, then my life is very serene and good, and when my spiritual batteries run low, my eneregy drains and I revert to old ways, much like an addict in relapse. I think codependency is so deeply rooted and maybe even physiological, that we can only remain in remission by maintaining our recovery.
So I choose to recharge my batteries, and I choose to maintain my recovery, and I choose to trust God with whatever plan He has for my life.
Keep 'em coming, let me know about your choices to change.