Update - this morning AH called and my mom was there listening. It was a bad combination. I told him I can't take anymore, he gave me the sob story, he's panicking, blah blah, I told him "go get better and talk to your sponsor" and that I have to get better and not talk to him. My mom then went on a full tirade telling me how terrible I am how I talked to him lovingly, how I should have told him to go to hell and drink forever, etc etc. I had a total meltdown threw the coffee can on the wall and she continued with her tirade of insults. When I told her I can't' get all hostile for our child she then said I had better get a restraining order (for what? being a drunk?) and I should go to a judge and they would give me one (??) and then she proceeded to insult and degrade me and say I will take him back and end up in a nuthouse. She also is saying things like he probably gave our son alcohol (??) Meanwhile I am dealing with recovering from hip surgery, an AH who is trying to lay the guilt on me, a child with special needs, and decisions I have to make about my life and sanity. My mother is not the cause of this but she is adding to my stress and anxiety and sickness. I am really at a point where I don't know how I will get through this. I just want to fast forward a year.