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i think this fear might ease in time. I knwo for me with how much i smoked and drank even after i quit i often thought why? whats the point i'm gonna die from all this anyhow. I figured if i got diagnosed with lung cancer or soemthing i'd promptly go buy a carton of cigarettes etc..

now its been 4.5 years since i quit cigarettes and 5 years since i quit booze. I'm not nearly as scared of dieing from it now as i was then. That being said I have a family member who had been smoke free for many decades recently get diagnosed with lung cancer.

so what do i think now? I think welp all i can do is keep doing what i'm doing and just hope for the best. Despite my past i'm doing pretty well i mean i smoked over 2 packs a day and could hardly breathe now i run like crazy.

I dont stress about it as much anymore. But yua know I think if i got diagnosed with lung cancer i'd still consider getting a carton of cigarettes.