As I said before I used to be the one to smile through everything and have a positive attitude. It literally amounted to nothing. It is hard work that chips away at you to force positivity when you feel terrible inside. I used to do the thing you are telling me to do which is just mentally change my thoughts. And it wore me down. Just wore me down.
You guys do not have to problem solve. I realize most of you want to help. But really there is no answer.