Fripfrop, this might help. When I first heard that I was selfish it upset me. I would be one of the first in line to give someone the shirt off my back. I volunteered 156 hours a month until I had to turn in my badge because of my DUI. I'm one of those who will go out of my way to help someone. How could anyone ever call me selfish????
Then the fog finally cleared and I understood. My thinking is selfish. It tends to be all about me. How what someone says and does affects me.
With that being said look back at your first post. You want your kids to realize how much you did for them and how your drinking was not a choice. It's part of a disease. In a sense isn't that somewhat more for your benefit than it is theirs?
The hope would be that by them understanding this then it kind of lets you off the hook a little? Which would then alleviate how this makes you feel and doesn't necessarily take their best interest to heart.
I'm not trying to be derogatory in my post just hoping it helps you to understand. It's our thinking that's selfish.