"Selfish" is just a word. No one here knows you in real life, we only know what you tell us and about our own struggles. Obsessing about one word in dozens of supportive posts kind of focuses on the negative, when there is so much good to be found here.
You can walk out of that prison. It's like the book Shawshank Redemption...by putting down the drink you dig out your escape tunnel a little bit every day.
Give being sober the chance to help you help you?