I am just bowled over by the responses here.
For the first time, I don't feel alone in this.
I want to say thankyou to every single person who has replied to me. It's made such a difference in shifting my thinking.
I'm a very private person, and I never ever before have told anyone about the fears and nasty thoughts I have.
Its been such an eye opener, the way people here have opened up about their own, sometimes, very painful experiences.
It's been the first time, since I got stuck in this drinking nightmare, that I haven't felt so isolated from the world.