tough one
This on is a tough one for me! It sounds like your describing my brother (the A in my life) BUT I'm not sure if he doesn't do things because he doesn't know how(when he was sober he was very smart) or because he's just not motivated enough to!!! We both grew up in the house with the same loving family, couldn't ask for more. And the theory "if you need it you will never go without, but if you simply want it you are going to work for it" taken care of, but not spoiled.....And we are as different as night & day!!! I think it's just the disease that keeps him from taking care of himself, not necessarily the upbringing......mom, God bless her, plays "cushion" and hey, when falling flat on your face doesn't hurt as bad as it should, why would you want to leave your cushion behind?? and have to feel the full effects of falling face first directly on the concrete at full speed!!
Thank God, for all the good parents out there who still believe in teaching kids how to do things for themselves!! Imagine, if every child was spoiled and spoiled some more, eventually there wouldn't be anybody left who knew how to do anything!