When you remove the deal about whether or not he is JW, it just sounds to me like he desperately wants to DO something to help you and his family, but like most normies, he doesng know what best to do.
I would suggest that one of the things that he could 'do' would be to go along to AlAnon and get clued up on what he's dealing with, and what recovery means and can look like. Maybe if he feels he's part of this getting better malarkey he'll feel less anxious about it.