Hi Ann,
Thanks for posting this - it brings up a conversation I recently had with my A.
He claims that people never change, they just learn to identify certain behaviors that may be undesirable and make modifications to the behavior, but underneath those basic qualities are still there. I can understand his point, based on the fact he will always be an addict and will never be cured, but in recovery has found ways to deal with his problem and keep from using.
So, for us codependents, will there ever become a point where we make enough changes to become cured? Or are we in the same boat as our A's, codependents for life, but in recovery, we learn ways to modify our behavior enough to keep the codependency at bay? I guess my question is, will the basic codependent qualities I learned growing up every completely go away?