Ann,
Good post!
And you know I have followed the same path as you. I fought and fought until I could fight no more and then I found myself in recovery and doing what I was told by those who had been there before.
I found a lovely woman who had a serenity about her that I wanted and asked her to be my sponsor and she accepted. She took calls from me when I was in a panic and also when I "got" something suddenly.
So yes it was a series of choices.
I chose to stop participating in the chaos.
I chose to stop being part of the problem and instead to be part of the solution.
I chose to learn what is and what is not my responsibility to change.
I chose to look at myself and change what I can...me.
I chose to trust in God. To believe there is a plan for me and everyone else and to get out of His way.
In the beginning I chose to blindly trust the program and do what I was told.
Today I have learned to trust the program with my eyes wide open.
And for that reason, like Ann, I choose to share it with all of you.
Hugs,
JT