As we speak... (OT)
The truck is being loaded with my folks' belongings for their move to Oregon (into assisted living). My brother has already hit the road (5 am MST) with their car and their dog. THEY get on a plane in a few hours.
I had sent a fairly detailed message to the representative at the place they are moving to, with details of my dad's mobility problems and what he needs assistance with (showering, etc.). Received a call from the general manager informing me that the unit they are moving into is on the "independent living" side, where those kinds of services are NOT provided. The person with whom my stepmom signed the contract is "no longer with us" (this was like three/four weeks ago). Manager asks, wasn't that explained to you?
Um, no, my stepmom made these arrangements with the help of her elderly sisters. Nobody told us SQUAT.
Anyway, the good news is that they will conduct an assessment of my dad right after they get there, and if "appropriate," they will move them to a different unit, similar in size and layout, on the assisted living side. No cost for the move, and they have movers that will do it for them. After a quick emergency consult with the kids helping with the move, we decided not to break it to them right now but to just tell them there will be an assessment to see what else is needed. At suggestion of manager, we will get orders from my Dad's neurologist about his physical deficits and the need for this kind of assistance.
My friggin' stepmom thinks they don't NEED any help. Clearly she is wrong, and fortunately all the kids (hers as well as my brother and I) agree. Her daughter-in-law (to whom she listens more than any of us) has given her a stern talk about the need to accept necessary help--whether she thinks she needs it or not.
So hopefully things will all get sorted out. But thank goodness I sent that email or we'd be relaxing thinking they had all these services that they don't.
Sheesh. It really ISN'T that much different from having young adult kids. They have just enough freedom to really make a mess of things.