Welcome. I am also a very destructive drinker. I've lost count of the number of times I've been in the ER or arrested by police. I don't get in such trouble every time I drink, but every time I get in trouble I have been drinking. I have to stop drinking for good if I ever want a happy, productive life. I joined AA and it had been great so far. 38 days sober.
Have you considered AA or rehab?