So I think the plan for him may be keep status quo as long as possible,
then when the crap hits the fan, to have public sentiment on his side, yes?
Selling the business, or better yet, having him buy you out and start the
process of separation is one option.
Only you can know if that is right for you, but if you've had enough,
and it sounds like you have, getting the ball rolling while he still appears
to be functioning (because you are right, it won't last, and from what
you've said, it already is getting worse as he's on the hard stuff,
getting meaner, threatening suicide, etc.) is to your advantage
in that he will keep up the act and you can hopefully get you share
of assets and not lose all you've worked for over your lifetime.
I know this sounds drastic, so please take it with a grain of salt.
What I can tell you growing up with a progressive alcoholic mother
and becoming once myself, as well as an enabler to both her and now
my husband, is that it won't get better and it can get worse really quickly.
You know that from reading here.
You also know that you are "wired" from growing up with a drinking mother
to fix things, and to consider this role you are playing as normal and necessary,
so there is nothing to be ashamed of in staying so long.
That's what we were taught to do as children, as women, and as loving people
who love the drinkers in our lives.
But girlfriend, you really have to begin to look out for number one here.
You've been helping him hide the disease to the point of hiding the fact
you've moved out, and now you will look to others like you are being
unkind and totally unfair by "leaving him" and filing for divorce.
But that's what I'd do in your place.
He's made it clear he chooses drink over the relationship and now
the business you share, and he's counting on your co-dependent patterns
and public opinion to keep you in line and keep his ability to drink and be
a "terrific guy" to the public going.
Have you thought about, or are you willing to consider finding the best
divorce lawyer in your area and finding out your options?
You don't have to act, but you should know what is possible to protect yourself
because he clearly doesn't have you back, but is constructing a persona
which will make it harder and harder for you to say the truth and be believed.
It isn't your obligation to live a lie to keep him drinking.
Even legal separation may shake him out of his complacenty--who knows?
But from this one posting, it is clear you are very unhappy and don't feel safe
with your partner while he's drinking.
That's no way to enjoy your golden years.
Hugs--loving them sometimes just isn't enough to build a life on.