I SO appreciate your comments.
Amy55, you mentioned isolation and shame.....that describes my life for the past 13 months in a nutshell. Nearly no one knows we are living seperately.....I like it that way. I often feel I am in a witness protection program...lol. My rental is in a nearby town and has a garage so no one sees my vehicle. Most of my closest friends have no idea, only a few family members know. I guess it's my years of co-dependent behavior which created the image of a happy, successful couple when the walls were burning down around me....I just don't know. I have always called it privacy but really, I guess I hate exposing the lies and misery (?).
Chicory ~ yes, peace is new to me and that is the best part. TBH, much of my time here has been a struggle to refrain from running back yet again.....but I consider the great feeling of uneasiness that had become the norm, even when I thought things were "getting to good" but my gut knew different. I don't want that....peace, although lonely plus my self-imposed isolation, is way better!