lonely and sick after break up
I dated my alcoholic ex for about a year. It was an extremely up and down relationship. I loved him and some days were great. But there was so much dysfunction. When he was drinking we got into a lot of fights. I also think he didn't really know how to be in a mature, adult relationship. I also have very low self esteem now from the relationship breaking me down and also he insulted me a few times. I know he is really just a broken person. He is an addict and has multiple addictions. His past friendships were mostly built on alcohol and drugs. I feel sick honestly. I can't believe I put up with him for so long, but at the same time, I miss him so much, I want to puke and cry. That sounds silly but missing him makes me nauseous. I don't have many friends either (I'm not a terrible person or anything, just quiet and don't make close friends easily) so really.. The Internet is all I have right now for comfort.
Even if he never drank again, I don't know if I could go back to him. The last time I saw him, he stole my card to buy cigarettes. He had never stolen from me before.. That was just the last straw.
There is just too much hurt and regret. But I don't know how to move on. Right now we aren't talking but I'm just so sad still.