lonely and sick after break up

Old 06-24-2016, 04:25 PM
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lonely and sick after break up

I dated my alcoholic ex for about a year. It was an extremely up and down relationship. I loved him and some days were great. But there was so much dysfunction. When he was drinking we got into a lot of fights. I also think he didn't really know how to be in a mature, adult relationship. I also have very low self esteem now from the relationship breaking me down and also he insulted me a few times. I know he is really just a broken person. He is an addict and has multiple addictions. His past friendships were mostly built on alcohol and drugs. I feel sick honestly. I can't believe I put up with him for so long, but at the same time, I miss him so much, I want to puke and cry. That sounds silly but missing him makes me nauseous. I don't have many friends either (I'm not a terrible person or anything, just quiet and don't make close friends easily) so really.. The Internet is all I have right now for comfort.

Even if he never drank again, I don't know if I could go back to him. The last time I saw him, he stole my card to buy cigarettes. He had never stolen from me before.. That was just the last straw.

There is just too much hurt and regret. But I don't know how to move on. Right now we aren't talking but I'm just so sad still.
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Old 06-24-2016, 04:33 PM
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I'm so sorry you're hurting right now, Lonelyhearts2.
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Old 06-24-2016, 05:44 PM
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I'm sorry its been hard for you. Its goos you recognize he isn't good for you. I think Al Anon could be very helpful for you - perhaps a meeting close by?
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Old 06-24-2016, 06:52 PM
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Lonelyheart,

You are not alone, I was in your exact position not too long ago. But I promise you, it'll get better.

Hugs
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Old 06-24-2016, 11:39 PM
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Lonely Heart I can relate so much to what you are saying. I am 1 week and 3 days out of my breakup with my exAB and exactly 1 week complete No contact... I just want to let you know that I am in the same situation as you and I know how much it hurts... I was with mine for a year and we lived together... Blocking him on my phone and refusing to talk to him has helped a lot... Also cry when you need to... That has helped a lot too. I am in alanon and I have a sponsor which has helped so much too. I will be starting my 12 steps next week. Sending you love...just know you aren't alone....if you feel lonely read through my posts...it will let you know we are in the same boat..hugs to you
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Old 06-25-2016, 04:09 AM
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I lived with an alcoholic from Aug-14 to Aug-15. I can't help but love her but the drinking and jekyll & hyde persona became too much. After we split she moved away. Roll onto May this year we got back together in a long distance relationship. It was fantastic at first. So much in love again but then her drinking (although much improved) began to affect me. My forehead tightens and feel the need to get away. We live 3hrs apart so the distance is providing the detachment I need and I'm back at al-anon. Why is it that I miss her like mad when we're apart but feel the need to detach when we're together? If only she'd begin her own journey to serenity. Our future doesn't look good right now and feel heartbreak coming up. You're not alone in how you feel about the alcoholic in your life and I send my love to you. Keep posting to get things off your chest. Read the al-anon books and any other related literature. Focus on and take good care of you.
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Old 06-25-2016, 04:14 AM
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LovelyKaya ~ so sorry. Many of us here know...it sucks loving an addict/alcoholic/broken person. We just need to take care to not let ourselves become broken and bitter, as well. We're here to listen.
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Old 06-25-2016, 04:32 AM
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Hi Lonely, it is hard. Even though you know you're doing the right thing it doesn't stop you being lonely. We just can't have relationships with toxic people and still keep our self-esteem.
I'm quite shy myself, so I suggest you get out by joining something where you do an activity, say hiking or a class. It's much easier when you have something to talk about.
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