Seeking advice
I've posted here before and found great comfort in the responses I received. I'm looking again for some advice.
A little background...spouse and I have been together 4 years. In that time we have 2 small children. I am 31 weeks pregnant with our 3rd.
I've always known he liked to drink and ignored all the red flags in the beginning.
6 months into our relationship he received a dui and spent 30 days in jail. He wrote to me saying he was going to quit drinking. 2 weeks after he got out he got drunk and said he wouldn't quit.
Last August he drove home drunk (this is something he did many times and still continues to do). I got upset and he ended our relationship. He refused to quit drinking and said I needed to accept him for what he is or else he is done. 3 days after he left he missed us and came home. He promised to be hard on himself but refused to talk to anyone or get help for his drinking.
My spouse drinks every day. For the past 3 weeks he has comes home drunk 4-5 nights per week. I often cannot get ahold of him and feel I am being ignored. I'm worried I won't be able to depend on him to drive me to the hospital in case I go into labor. I'm scared he will be out drinking and miss the birth of his 3rd child.
The other night he drove home drunk and instead of me getting upset I went to bed and told him I'd talk to him in the morning when he sobered up (he always apologizes in the morning). He left instead. I called the police and reported him for drunk driving but they couldn't find him.
The next day he said he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me and said he wasn't coming home. He called and told me to accept him as is or hes leaving. I asked him if he could try to cut back. He is refusing. Currently I'm waiting on an answer from him as to whether he is leaving us or not.
This is the 3rd time in a year he has left and he is making me look like a fool. Why does he expect me not to be upset when he comes home drunk when he won't even try to cut back?
I feel he is choosing alcohol over me and it hurts so much.