Originally Posted by
CentralOhioDad 
But there was also a sense of calm that I felt, a sense of relief that might
Also come about by removing an active A from the household.
Ahhhhhh... I remember that feeling well. When my first AH kept beating me down saying he wanted out, I remember finally seeing the light and accepting the fact that it would actually be a GOOD thing for ME to split. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from me. However, we did not have children, so there was no burden about the "extra work" that would put on me. In your case, you should frame it as being important you're removing your DS from the toxicity of an A household and the "extra work" will be worth it.