Also do note that my ex bf was also an alcoholic. He never hid his drinking from me (that I know of), although I never gave him a reason to. I drank with him, enabled him, not once did I nag to him about drinking. Everyone is different and unique and not all addicts hide their drinking. Instead of trying to figure out why he does the things he does (which contain so many possible variables), you need to figure out why you do the things you do.
Why do you keep raising down the bar? What is YOUR limit? Boundaries? Are those boundaries firm? Why or why not?