XAH told me he drank b/c "it was the only little bit of joy he had in his life", not too subtly indicating that I, our house, the dogs, etc., were all just burdens on him and he had to get relief somehow.
He told me the reason he couldn't get any kind of help for himself was b/c "what if he got straightened out and found out he didn't like it here?" Boy, that felt good to hear, let me tell you...
Luckily for me, for whatever reason, I never bought the fact that his drinking was my fault. I felt bad about plenty of other stuff, but not that particular thing.