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'I had crossed some moral line within myself that it was finally, enough is enough.'
I mentally compartmentalized Drinking again adjacent to cheating on my Wife of 39 Years. Kicking my beloved Dog. Stealing a Pal's Wallet left out on the Counter just because he went to another Room. All unthinkable actions incompatible with my internalized Morals.
There simply isn't a future time any of these things could/will happen.
Relying on what I call 'Externals' wouldn't have worked for me; given my Genetic Hard Wiring. Meetings. Deities. Fear of a Criminal Record. Those Externals are just not the right inducements, or penalties. For me. Something occasionally lost 'round here is the inescapable Bottom Line that a Sobriety Program need only work for one Person: you.
I put my permanent Sobriety inside me; much like a Heart Pacemaker. Several Years in now [from Jan 2014], it really is permanent.
It's very liberating. Especially with the huge Population of support here at SR. The Ultimate Meeting available 24/7.
Thank you for your thoughts. You're one of us...
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