So am I just as bad? Last time I posted I said I was 100% going to leave but fear set in and I didn't. Does that mean I'm like my abf's I'm going to give up in a few days?
Good news is I've managed to get through to the DV helpline here in the UK and the lady I spoke to was so supportive & gave me some things to look up & gave me a local support number. I then called them and got an equally supportive lady. Only thing is it's made my fear a little worse. She told my options, stay & they can support me (I don't want this), leave & stay with my folks, leave & stay in a hostel & with that either leave my dog with a friend or they can help me try & find someone to have him for a while. With the latter 2 options they can offer me someone to meet with and talk to. I'm not sure but I think she was trying to sell me the hostel option but I'd rather stay with my folks. What scared me was when she was talking about how if I leave & he stays in the property until the lease ends he could destroy it & land me in a load of debt with difficulties finding a new place. She suggested I wait until he goes out and change the locks. As much as I don't want to be an enabler I don't think I could do that to him. I at least want to give him some time to find somewhere else.
What both ladies said though is when I go if he gets very abusive etc I can apply for a non molestation order. I hope it doesn't come to that but good to know.
As I've mentioned before I'm lucky I've got a good network of friends/family who I speak to but I'm getting different views & I don't know what to do for the best. In an ideal world I just want the split to be peaceful & as easy as possible for both of us but realistically I know that's not going to happen. My best friend thinks I should take baby steps to leave to increase the likelihood of him staying calm. Abf's sister thinks I should just go, leave a letter, take dog and if necessary change my number but that option leads me back to what to DV lady said about problems with the property. I'm so confused!!!
All I know is I have to go! My anxiety is getting worse by the day. Abf isn't being as bad this week (in comparison of course) but he's being incredibly hard work. For example yesterday he text me, so I text him back to say I was going to take dog out, 5 mins later he calls me saying very arsey how can you be taking dog out as he's home & I'm not there. He was taking it so so literally. He then asked where I was so I said walking along the river & he was again very arsey saying funny that I've just walked along the river, exactly where are you? So I hung up. Doesn't sound an awful call but his tone was dreadful & I do not know what he was trying to imply. Anyway he then gets back to me asking me what's wrong in my head he was only asking so he could come and meet me???? and was this a plan of mine to leave again & you're not taking the dog as he's done nothing wrong. How could I have had a plan, he called me!!!!
He then did something similar when I was getting ready to go out with my friend & then when I got home he tells me how he stole 2 bits of fish from the fish counter at a local shop because the bloke told him not to touch the fish. In his head how f'ing dare he, the f'ing idiot. He's telling me like he's so proud of what he's done & completely justified and he's looking at me wanting me to agree it's ok.
None of these events are the worst he's done but I'm so exhausted & it's doing my head in.
Thanks for letting me rant xx