I totally get where you're coming from. I have found that the only way to succeed is complete honesty with myself.
I had 517 days. All days of goodness and learning. I know now what not to do so those days still mean something.
So I now have 38 days of complete and total honesty. Plus, if I made it that far I've shown myself that I can do this and what to stay away from.
You haven't lost that time, you learned.