Whatever area you are in you can find an NA website and a number to call to get a ride to a meeting. Once there you meet other (Women) addicts, get their numbers and get rides. - I got rides to meetings for the first couple of years of my recovery.
That excuse won't work well. I know I did whatever it took to get drugs. The difference is, the NA members with some recovery actually want to help you out. It's not the same as manipulating the "next one".
If you can get into the rehab, go do that. Then hit meetings as soon as you get out. I went every day (sometimes twice a day) for a good long time.
Nothing you posted is unusual. I turned into a person I didn't want to be. I abandoned my children and did terrible things. If I didn't do something, I have friends with long term recovery that did. (And I mean anything you did or can imagine).
We aren't defined by our past. What we do now is what matters. It took me a long time to really figure that out and believe it. The voice in my head that tells me what a terrible person I am has a volume knob now. I can tell it to shut up.
Give yourself a break. Don't use, get help, and get to a meeting. Life is very good on the other side. I don't have to worry about getting dopesick, I can look in the mirror, and I can sleep at night. Recovery is good, and it is just as available to you as it is to me.