"I drank to escape the fear. Now, I have to sit in the fear and accept it for what is. Now that I am not in a chaotic relationship I am beginning to feel better. I just wish I had escaped sooner. The regret."
welp, i think theres solution for this in the program. ya don't have to sit in fear and let it control ya.
pg 67 starts some really good stuff on the 4th step fear inventory( did ya dio a resentment,fear, and sex inventory first time through the steps?).
one of my favorite lines from the BB:
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.
Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.
regrets suck, but theres solutions!
the tenth step promises tell us
we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
if i forget the past ill repeat it.
if i regret it ill get drunk.
notice that that is part of the tenth step promises- some of the promises that will happen at that phase of our development, which means we have been painstaking with steps 1-9 and the promises of steps 1-9 have started happening.