If you were diagnosed with depression... it's very possible you're dealing with it again / still.
It can often be something we deal with in varying degrees for large stretches of life.... sometimes worse than others.
Recovery is a time when we've taken away our self-medication, we come back to 'reality' and we start having to face our own emotions. At the same time, there are physical changes and psychological changes afoot that rock us. It's a dynamic mixed bag, well-primed for sadness, melancholy, depression.
I found myself struggling with it, too.... for much of year one and then in the winter's going into year 2 and 3 as Seasonal Affective Disorder began to plague me. I guess I'd always drank and drugged it away.
Keep working recovery, keep getting exercise, get to the ocean!! OH how I miss the healing, spiritual, restorative power of the beach. Those sunsets at Oxnard Shores. Surfing from the Shores to Rincon and every point between. The sea alone can help us reconnect with our soul..... head up into the Los Padres and do some day hiking in those gorgeous mountains. One thing you have going for you is a phenomenal natural surrounding and nature has a great deal of power to support our recovery and the deepening of our lives in general. Use that as a force in your recovery.
Hang in there man, it's going to get better.
