I haven't had health insurance or access to a doctor in over a year. Especially now, I just cannot afford it and I am not eligible for Medi-Cal(aka Medicaid). I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression in 2010. Depression got better over the years, and then I started feeling all over the map sometimes. I last talked with my doctor about it over a year ago before the last lay off(which is when I lost my insurance). Lately I have had days where I feel really good about life and things are good, and then I have days or sometimes a couple of weeks where I just feel off or not all that well.
Today I feel okay, but I don't know what tomorrow is going to feel like.
When I last talked to my doctor I was referred to a psychiatrist who wanted to sit there and tell me I am bipolar without even trying to understand or map out what I was feeling. I threw his prescription on the ground and told him where to go. I went back to my doctor and told him about what had happened and he wanted me to map out what I felt, but I havent been able to see him since. So right now I am just kind of stuck.
I dont want to believe I am depressed, bipolar, or any of that stuff. I dont think most doctors really understand it anyway. My ex, former marine vet., went in for anxiety when we were together and got scripted depakote for bipolar disorder. He wasnt bipolar, but the meds made him that way and it destroyed our relationship.
The last time I even tried antidepressants I had a seizure and had to stop. I dont trust them, I wont go back on them, and I certainly dont trust head doctors who are probably psychotic and crazier than me.