I did work steps 1-9 with my first sponsor. He was awesome, young in the program but I could relate to him and he was a decent human being.
Since I moved from where I was living when I first entered AA I have not connected with anyone here. AA was much more vibrant and diverse in my old place, but here it is just...I don't know. It is not the same and I have a difficult time connecting with people.
If I got out of this place and moved somewhere that wasn't god awful I would feel better about working the steps. I don't know who I could work the steps with because my sponsor is always gone off doing something.
I am very close to drinking though I will admit it. I don't want to drink but I just sit around and dwell on my mistakes.
I will attend a meeting after work and ask someone to sponsor me and take me through the steps. Yesterday I talked on the phone with a young guy with some time in the program and we could relate to different things. He said he still made mistakes in sobriety and that he still did stupid stuff even though he was sober.
I did stupid stuff sober. I just need to accept that and get on with my life.