Originally Posted by
Gottalife 
It is your problem, not his. Whatever your brother says or does has no bearing on whether or not you will recover. You can recover regardless of anyone.
I've got some lodgers in at the moment & one of them is a crazy hippy body therapist from Catalunia. She is also a reiki healer. She may seam as mad as a box of frogs but she's actually one of the wisest people I've ever met in my life.
I won't bore you with the detail but not long after she moved in she attacked me verbally; she reacted to something I'd said to her.
It cut me to the quick, the pain was intense, I didn't cry but I wanted to.
It took me a couple of minutes to recover my composure & I calmly said "that wasn't OKAY Nelia, that was extremely hurtful"
She apologised and explained her "stuff" to me.
However, she very quickly pointed out that every time we feel pain like I did, there lies an opportunity to grow from. Rather react to the pain to make it go away, make yourself vulnerable and follow the feeling to its source. Understand that and grow from it.
Gottalife's post hurt me a little, some others did too but the above one hurt most. So I followed the pain and decided that the pain comes from the realisation I have to take 100% of the responsibility for my sobriety.
Thanks to all the replies, once again it feels like a privilege to be here with you all.
PS, sober wolf posted a great ted talk on vulnerability some time ago. I don't recall the lady's name but it was brilliant.