Originally Posted by
JimC60 
MizFormaldehyde,
"....I was little confused why it also included the 12 steps which is a part of her book as well....."
The 12 Steps of Nar-Anon differ from the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous by only 3 words, two words in Step 1 and 1 in Step 12; Steps 2 through 11 are identical.
Step 1, Nar-Anon: We admitted we were powerless over the addict - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 1, NA: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 12, Nar-Anon: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Step 12, NA: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The reasons can be simplified to say that, at least in the beginning of your journey, you are just as addicted to your addict as your addict is to their drug of choice and until YOU can recover from your addiction; you will never find inner peace and serenity. You probably call your attempts to "fix" them, love.
If you were not addicted to your addict, chances are that you would not be on a site such as this or seeking outside support from other groups; it is possible, but not likely.
A very wise and insightful lady before me once posted this here:
"Love cannot save our addicted loved ones, if it could, not a one of us would be here." Truer words were never written.
Keep coming back,
Jim
I'm totally aware that I am not in control of his addiction. It was also difficult to set boundaries for somebody who wasn't going to respect them anyway until they were healthy again short of leaving which has limitations within itself. Robert Myer's "Get Your Loved One Sober" really helped on some of these things, though, I was already past the entering treatment realm of it
I guess what bothered the most was that it made it sound like the loved one of the addict did something wrong in steps 4-11. It had a negative tone as opposed to supportive and empowering.
I am also not Christian and dislike how black & white in addition to monopolistic their addict group counterparts come off. His counselor is trying to find something for me that doesn't revolve around the 12 steps as she understands my concerns and, but, says it may be difficult as many are for parents of addicts/alcoholics if not for the one in recovery themselves or far from me. He will be there until the 23rd now as the course of his treatment has become more concrete. We had a group phone conversation this morning.
This seems promising, but, I will have to see if medicaid is accepted for the services I need. I can't post links yet so sorry for the storybook. Aha.
Relationships iN Recovery (RNR)
A 5-week group program for spouses/partners of those with addictions
Weekly Support: The groups meet weekly for 1 ˝ hours
Small Size: The group size is limited to 5 -10 participants
Short Waiting Period: The waiting time for the next group is 1 – 4 weeks.
Focus on Your Needs: Each group cycle is designed to center upon your unique needs
Empowering: Every RNR cycle is intended to empower you to be better able to respond differently, and with increased self-care, to your spouse/partner’s current addictive behavioral activity, whether Active Addictive Behaviors; Transition/Abstinence; Early Stage of Active Recovery; or Long-term/Well Established Recovery Lifestyle.
Convenient: Located in Northeast Philadelphia
Affordable:
Can Relationships iN Recovery (RNR) Help You?
Marital relationships are extremely vulnerable during the transitional stage of recent abstinence: the “in-between” time of prior escalating addictive behaviors and the time of living established long-recovery. Dr. Gene Devers designed Relationships iN Recovery (RNR) group for committed partners, just like you, and to help stabilize your relationship with your spouse/partner. He developed RNR in response to and in collaboration with folk feeling confused, angry, afraid, and overwhelmed by their spouse/partner’s recently achieved sobriety. Dr. Devers created RNR to coach you in learning how to successfully care for yourself, your children, and your relationship, starting now during this time of “in-between”.
RNR was designed to:
· Inform
· Encourage
· Support
· Challenge
RNR is intended to be a safe place in which you can participate in a supportive transforming group, which mirrors the process and attention that your spouse/partner is so actively involved.
To reserve your place in the next RNR group please contact Dr. Gene Devers. Make the 5-week commitment to benefit from all th at RNR has for you and your marriage. He is eager to coach you to embrace this “in-between” time as the pathway to peace.
Together, We Can:
Discover Better Solutions
Develop New Possibilities
Discern The Sacred
Design An Improved Process of Change©
A full-range of additional services available for you and your loved ones:
addressing relational adjustments throughout the entire recovery process:
Individual Counseling
Family Counseling
Couples Counseling (when timely appropriate),
RNR Couples Groups are for those with a spouse/partner who is active in their recovery program
Ongoing series of RNR groups.
I have had a lot going on that I have only been popping on forums here and there .Plus am currently living with family where there is not a lot of privacy and getting around now going on 30 weeks pregnant is a chore,but, suppose I will still check one out before I write it off.