My alcoholic ex, who I met when we were both sober, proceeded to cheat, lie, and psychologically abuse me. She is in recovery now and I had to break up with her because she still treated me like dirt when she was sober.
My father is an alcoholic and my mother abused drugs and alcohol. I'm almost a year sober and I think all alcoholics/addicts have internal problems they attempt to mask with a substance. Human beings are complex, and I have discovered that my judgments of them are usually based on artificial signs that I often misread and misinterpret.
I wish I had trusted my instincts about my ex. It was a terrible relationship and I feel nothing around women now. Nothing. My ex was abusive and withdrawn just like my mother was.
I hope that you feel better and decide if you made the correct decision. My experience has been that if you let someone abuse you and walk over you (this could be drinking too much, passing out, abandoning you, whatever) then they will continue to push so they can get the best of both worlds: a loving partner and the freedom to do whatever they want to do.
I think if you are truly loved you know it; and if you are not loved you know it as well, but it hurts if you already feel worthless and unlovable.
I think we have to love ourselves and never look for validation outside of our own inner resources. My problem is that I drank to hide from the difficult work required to develop internal strength. I hope you feel better.