Try to bear on mind that there is no earthly reason that a normal would understand alcoholic behaviour, thoughts or feelings, or what it's like in early recovery. To be honest, we struggle to understand it ourselves. It's not that these people don't want to understand, it's that they can't. He can't understand what you are going through and more than you can recover in a week. Acceptance is key here.
Re the house situation, I would suggest, if you want to tackle it just focusing on one room at a time. I started with the lounge as that was the easiest and it was also where I would sit the most . The impact it had on my mood and general feeling of wellbeing gave me the incentive to do the next room and so on. But do it for you - because you deserve a nice place to recover, rather that for your boyfriend or anyone else. OR if you have the cash employ a cleaner for a one off spring clean, then keep on top of it. Waste of money?? Not at all, compared with spending it on poison.