Hi zoomi!
I understand where you're coming from.
When I was in early sobriety and completed my 90 in 90, I thought, um, so this is it? This is what I have to look forward to the rest of my life, so long as I shall live, forever after and a day at a time?
When the answer came to me, yup, I have to keep going to meetings because they help keep me sober, something released inside me.
I surrendered.
I still remember the meeting I was at. I'd been looking down at the floor in front of me, feeling a little anxious, not wanting to talk to anybody.
Then I looked up and really considered all the people in the room with me and I thought, "I'm going to be with these people the rest of my life. I might as well get used to it."
Now I'm one of those people too. And it's comforting. If you 'keep coming back' to the meetings, I suspect you'll feel a shift. A life sentence of meetings will turn into a great gift instead of a burden. As they say, it works if you work it.