Originally Posted by
LoveLife0717 
I would love to travel and just relax during my retirement. My problem is that I am so afraid he is gonna end up back in jail again because of the drug use. Everyone says to not let a drug addict have money...but he is working and I can't very well take the money away from him like a child. He has bills to pay, food to buy, etc. I just have this fear that one day he will go to work and just not come home and he will be back with his druggie friends. He told me that they are not only doing crack now, but also Meth.
I did try to put him in the Salvation Army program when he got out of jail, but I believed all of his promises and decided to let him stay here. If he had gone to the S.A. program, he wouldn't have stayed a week and he would have left. I guess I thought I could help him more.
I can't say that I directly relate to this, as I don't have children of my own. But I understand the terror of the unknowns. The "what ifs". The fear that if we don't do the right thing, the addict is doing to do something awful.
But what you have to understand, LoveLife, is it doesn't make a difference what you do or don't do, and that's because your son is going to do whatever the hell he wants, when he wants, and screw the consequences to himself or to anyone else. You can't help him. You can't prevent him from making poor decision. And the longer you believe otherwise, and the longer you hang onto him, the longer it will take you to live the life that
you have earned.
He's 43 years old. If he wants to self destruct, you may not like it, but that's his choice. And with choices come consequences. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to experience the consequences of adulthood firsthand.