JRM,
"...But the Nar-Anon meeting was so negative. I have never pursued Nar-Anon because of that experience, which maybe isn't fair, because one bad experience may not be representative....."
Obviously, what works for one person does not work for everyone. I am a faithful member of a Nar-Anon home group and will not miss a meeting if at all possible.
I find the meetings to be up lifting and not at all negative. We share our ups and downs as a group - yes, some things are negative but the overall experience certainly is not.
A wise member of our group described our meeting once as being like a group of people sitting around a campfire on a cold night in the woods.
This campfire is lit once a week on Wednesday evening. People bring to the campfire whatever wood they have collected through the past week. Some weeks, an individual has had a good week and has lots of wood to bring, other weeks you cannot find any wood no matter how hard you look.
Whether you have wood or not, you are welcome to come sit around the fire and share the warmth. Some weeks you are the provider and some weeks the taker.
The wood represents the positive happenings for the week which are to be shared with all. The warmth given off by the fire is strength and hope to fortify everyone for the week to come.
Sometimes that warmth only lasts until I get to the door to leave; sometime until I get to my car; sometimes until I get home; sometime a day or maybe two, but sometimes it lasts all week, and I have plenty of wood to take to the next Wednesday night campfire.
I can't remember if I read this here, somewhere else, or heard it at a meeting, but it sums up the spirit of my Nar-Anon experience:
"I found out my child was a heroin addict and I was devastated. I told a co-worker that I had known for years; they told me that I was a terrible parent and should be ashamed of my parenting skills. I went to a Nar-Anon meeting and told an entire room full of strangers........they gave me hugs and told me to keep coming back."
Keep coming back,
Jim