Originally Posted by
maz36 
....But in my mind alcohol improves everything and my life would be empty without it.....
.....lose weight, to not have a puffy face/bleary eyes, to eventually fall pregnant, to not feel guilty at work, to not worry about driving over the limit in the morning.....
I hate this. I wish I could switch personalities with someone who could take it or leave it.
Does this all add up and make sense in your mind? If so go ahead and keep drinking but if not perhaps you might consider not drinking.
One more item. I have seen a lot of people who show up here with this kind of struggle and then disappear. Please remember that the door is always open here if you ever need some kind folks to support you in recovery if that's what you choose. But in the end it's your choice. Nobody here is going to force you to do something you don't want to do.
I wish you the best whatever you decide.