I know what you're saying is true Scott, and thank you so much for your replies. I am just struggling to imagine my life without alcohol ever. I mean if I had a deadline I think I could power through and abstain until a certain date. But in my mind alcohol improves everything and my life would be empty without it.
I want to cut down to lose weight, to not have a puffy face/bleary eyes, to eventually fall pregnant, to not feel guilty at work, to not worry about driving over the limit in the morning.
I hate this. I wish I could switch personalities with someone who could take it or leave it.