New poster.
I have struggled with alcohol addiction since 2008 when I split from my first husband. I finally got 6.5 months sober last year but stupidly thought I could control my drinking and due to mounting peer pressure (stupid when you're in your mid 30s) I started "mildly" drinking again. It was fine and "controlled" for a little while but by November I was back in full fledged addiction. I'm really getting frustrated with myself. I obviously can quit but I don't know why I am having a difficult time stopping again.
Every day it's the same crap. I wake up feeling like **** and promise myself no more. Stay hungover all day. I'm self employed and usually manage to be productive enough to skate by but I could do so much more if I was sober. By evening I'm drinking again. I don't like drinking in front of people, except my husband. I much prefer to be alone which I know is a gigantic issue.
I even called an alcoholic hotline last week and asked them to verify my insurance so I could get help.. but once I sobered up I did not want to go. I'm not even sure what I'm asking for by posting here. Maybe someone local (SE PA) who I could meet up with and hold me accountable? Thanks for listening and giving me an outlet.