Well I m not sure I recommend my approach ... but I said nothing ... on payday when I KNEW he would go and buy my alcohol I told him not to buy any ... slowly he realised I was not drinking ... my hubby has cut down significantly ... our marriage is in no way fantastic... but it is my recovery .. not his ... I just stopped... after tapering for EVER ... so he did realise I was cutting down for consumption I guess ... nearly 4 years sober here ... good luck ...and "Codependency No More" ... a definite read .. I have it electronically on all my electronic devices so I can read it when ever I want to ....