*hugs*
Ahhhh Rho the million dollar question.
I have the same problem and lately have been very angry with myself. How could I have had so little respect for myself that I would choose to be with my ex-abf when he treated me so badly? The worst part is I still love him, how can you love someone that would cheat on me, lie to me and everything else that went with that relationship.
I have not got to the point that I can forgive myself for not taking better care of me... Im working on that one, but I guess that is why they say its a family disease and that Im just as sick... I must be sick in the head to even have considered trying to get back with him last March... A person could get a headach just thinking about all this.
It is getting better though, it has been a little over 2 months with no contact and Im still waiting for my 30 day chip. I think we should get coins toooo for dealing with our addiction.