I just didn't picture that the past 22 years of my life would amount to this.
I don't care if you're a believer or an atheist, agnostic, whatever. The below words are monumental in achieving a sound mind.
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".
What is it that you can change about the past 22 years? Nothing. Why do you think the past 22 years have amounted to what they have? Either way, there isn't a thing that you can do about it.
However, and more importantly, what is it that you can do so that after the next 22 years you can look back and feel great about that time?
Let go of the idea of what has been and focus on what will be. For every minute you lament about the past you're robbing yourself of making right now and the future what you deserve it to be. Yes, you deserve it!
The hard thing to learn in life is that no one on this earth is going to make it so but you. People will have care and concern for you but no one can do the work for you, that's all up to you. By doing the work you'll be amazed and how much more richer and rewarding life is.