It's not a matter of deserving something; it's about there always being consequences for our behavior. How many times do active alcoholics become enraged at how other people "mistreat" us? Yet we're okay with abusing other people's trust, and trampling over their good will.
If someone lied to me, sneaked around and hid her drinking, kept secrets from me, was rarely there for me when I needed her, and neglected my needs and desires, I doubt I'd sit idly by and hope for the best, even as she attempted to make amends.
The first thing we lose and the last thing we get back -- if ever -- is trust. We can't summon it back or hold it to our schedule. Invoking all the good things I've done while sober will only feed longstanding resentments, and demanding that people change because we're in the process of healing is counterproductive and self-defeating.
When I was drinking I was, at the very least, an habitual liar. I could not be trusted, I wore out all the good will that I was freely and generously given (and then some), and I provoked anger, fear and, ultimately, indifference within those who cared about me most. Our poor and hurtful habits don't melt away as a result of putting down the drink. There is much work to be done in a world in which we engendered impatience, and sometimes rage, about our behavior. In order to set things right, I could only do what I could do. Focusing on how other people responded to me was beside the point, and would have done nothing to help me to grow and to heal. To do so would only have been another version of selfishness on my part.
I couldn't bribe people with my changed behavior to accept me and to trust me again. People didn't choose to turn away from me or turn me out for no reason. And they generally put up with a great deal more than most people would have in similar circumstances. It was entirely up to me to be accountable for my behaviors, regardless of the fact that I was drinking when I was hurtful and neglectful.
My perspective is that there are no rewards or punishments in life; only consequences. My actions, my consequences.