Another note, you talk about the weather a lot. Are you also weather mood affected as I am? I have an entirely different day when the sun is beaming and it's nice out as opposed to when it's rainy and dreary. It's like whatever the weather is denotes my thought process and mood for the day. If that's the case I totally understand.
That's me. I want to slit my wrists when it's anything but 0% cloud cover and 95+ fahrenheit. It's genetic.
With where you live there has to be a wealth of sober, interesting and fun things to do?
I think that's true anywhere.
"I'm so sick of this, all I do is get up, go to work, come home, eat, watch tv, and go to bed. Or on the weekends do the same but clean the house and go grocery shopping. I feel like I'm just existing and waiting to die!"
The above (for me, not saying you) was "I am going to find an excuse to drink eventually if I repeat that phrase enough"
For me, it's kind of like I'm at a point in my life where everything is so anticlimactic. People rave about how it isn't really until your 20s that you finish school and begin your "real life," whatever the hell that means. I just didn't picture that the past 22 years of my life would amount to this.