Welcome, and it's very normal to feel overwhelmed and depressed as you contemplate giving up alcohol for good. I had blackouts toward the end of my drinking days and I have never forgotten how really scary they are.
It's a good idea to have a plan for your recovery. I have used books and SR, as well as meditating and exercise. This link is a list of lots of ideas on recovery:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html