hi and welcome. sorry for what brings you here.
whenever VIOLENCE enters the picture, the party is OVER. the RELATIONSHIP is over, because to continue would imply that it is ok for you to be hurt. so you did well to get away.
and now you must STAY away. i noticed you said you were his partner, carer and mother............this is what happens over time when involved with an addict in active addiction......there CEASES to be a partnership of any type.....the addict is fused to their drugs, and we get whatever is left.
which is usually a big fat mess. but as soon as we cease being a partner, the RELATIONSHIP is over. when we move to become their caretakers and/or their mothers, there is no going back.
he is delusional, paranoid and violent. DO NOT GO BACK. he is DANGEROUS, volatile and unpredictable. do not CALL to see how HE is doing. i can guarantee you he is not on a website right now discussing how worried he is about YOUR well being. coke has got him in a fierce grip. and not likely to let go anytime soon.
to give this all a different spin.....let's say it WAS your job to FIX him.....well, i'd have to say then YOU did a pretty lousy job of it eh? he isn't better after 8 years, he's worse.
in reality tho, we know it is not nor ever HAS been your job to fix another human being. he's not a sink, you're not a plumber. he's not a car, you're not a mechanic. he is a faulty human with a devious disease and only he can save himself.