Zenlifter I have for a while had a plan to take up tai chi or meditation classes but never followed it through . Its time for me to put thinking into actions . You are spot on with your description about anger and wanting to be right etc , another problem I have is with accepting criticism ,I take it too personally ,see it as an attack . The net result of all of this is I alienate myself and get this childish feeling " nobody likes me and I don't care " but the thing is I do care but can be so stubborn. I definitely want to work on this as it is not doing me any good in terms of staying sober long term , Thank you .
Red Andy , I could have been you with regards to holidays and hotels . I have wasted every holiday I have went on with alcohol and as the years went on the drinking sessions got worse in terms of how each one affected me . They progressed from having a hangover every day then drinking around lunchtime to feel better to drinking in the morning to feel better and eventually the binge days were less and the affect was worse and I was waking up during the night drinking back to sleep then after maybe 4 days of that wanting to get home hating being there because withdrawals were so bad , last year in Holland I was alone in my room for 2 days prior to departure day , a total wreck and embarrassment , done the same twice I decided to go on holiday by myself once to Spain once to Majorca , I ended up the loneliest most frightened person in the world because of alcohol binging and bad withdrawals .
Yes yes yes I know what drink will do to me if I do it again I will embarrass my family again , I will end up alone in a room again .
I appreciate the advice better not going if I don't feel strong enough , its still 15 weeks or so away and I believe I will be ok , I feel I have finally got it I honestly do .
Thanks so much