getright15

So I'm on day 21 right now. I met with my sponsor to do some more reading today as we go through the steps. He has been giving me some great advice and I'm already starting/trying to put what I'm learning from reading so far into my everyday life. I so desperately want to remain sober. I really don't think I have another bender in me. I really don't. With whats hanging over my head legally I don't have anymore chances since my lawyer "saved my bacon" last time out according to the judge.

Anyhow I was talking to my wife earlier tonight. I don't expect her to be happy with me with everything that has gone down and what I've put her through over the years. See this is where I get discouraged as she made comments about the kids growing up with an alcoholic in the home and chances are they themselves will be screwed up and need therapy when their older. During my drinking and dry drunk days I made some really bad decisions and we've discussed them, but moving on from them who knows. She mentioned to me that when she was looking for places to move out into during my last bender she said she told our 12 yr old that I wasn't coming and he said "oh I'm fine with that". Really hurts all of that but it's on me and I know it. So I have to swallow my medicine.

I dont even know what to say in response. I'm just really bummed out but I made the bed I'm currently lying in so what else should I expect right?